Thursday, January 12, 2012

im fine.................(actually, no)

i've tried hard, i've try and try and try.
so i failed. i cant get back.

i am not fine, since the day. until a newer year.
im acting fine, im acting happy, im acting im great, but all is just an act.

i just want to voice out from my mind, my ice cold dead heart.
since the day, i never been happy at all. im just a mothafucker down in mood, stressed up person.
so, dont near me, better to leave me alone, i will hurt ppl.
i use to be alone, use to the quietness, use to the quiet fone.

i feel very annoyed when ppl calling me, texting me.
no one really care me, if my family cares me, i cant feel it. sorry.
i caant feel a thing anymore.

i just want to be alone, i just want to do my thing, i just want to stop my studies. i cant take it anymore.
im goin to freak out soon. aarrgghhh!!!
i cant help myself, nor no one can help me, because i cant help myself.
pls, i cant handle anymore thing. when im down, i drink, since the day, i drunk myself. she doesnt know...
she doesnt know shes the big influence of my life, but thats too late, no longer can return, just so what she says...

anyway, life is materialistic, life is cruel. so i am.
i wont be as good as before no more. thanks for saying how shit i am, also thanks to my friend, i never shit on them, but they saying fucking shits stuff on me, thank you for helping me being jerk.

one day, one day i wana go away from this place. cut me loose. i dont want be human, im going to the darkside...

i never will return. thanks for the cruel world. im living with this kind of condition since feb 2011. hurt, sad, depress, stress, tensed. soon, will gone mad...

WHY, when a person hurt you most, and u love them still, care them still....
thats a thing, i CANT FIGURE OUT!!
PLS, give me some drug, either to kill me, or forget everything...erase everything, even more, FORGET MYSELF


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