and ohh! happy cny, gong hei fatt choi.
i dont need to story any about of my cny, n.o.t.h.i.n.g about it.
dont need mention about valentine too. ;)
anyway, just a photo shoot before cny, and i just done wrapping the mugen front lip to dry carbon look with a Type One sticker at the middle. right after 4 days, my mom drove the car and scratch the lip, ONCE again...
well, female cant drive. this is fact, although is not majority of them cant drive. fact is fact. ;)
i was mad, seriously mad about it.
the front lip repainted just right before the 30th night. till now, the front look doesnt look as the picture itself. ;)
the corolla ee90 aka ae92, is my friend's one. he's also a car enthusiast like me. we just student, we enjoy cars and etc. quite budget still.
wait till we grad and get a job. things will be better, maybe i will change my ride. OR something with K related??
dont say twice, once, already feel like dead. twice, worst than dead.
i cant even describe it.
some ppl say, donnt care those not appreciate you, show them how well u live without them.
not i degil or what, once i gone into relationship, im serious to it and goin all for it. givin my everything.
twice of heartbreak, now i feel like a person without heart. no heartbeat. cant feel myself.
less social, less goin out. mostly at home. at home. and at home.
dont have the mood for anything.
i wonder, when i can feel my heartbeat once again.
when i can have someone again? and love until i cant let go anything again?
no idea. i dono.
thats my answer for every question. dono. no idea.
i've tried hard, i've try and try and try.
so i failed. i cant get back.
i am not fine, since the day. until a newer year. i...am...not...okay...
im acting fine, im acting happy, im acting im great, but all is just an act.
i just want to voice out from my mind, my ice cold dead heart.
since the day, i never been happy at all. im just a mothafucker down in mood, stressed up person.
so, dont near me, better to leave me alone, i will hurt ppl.
i use to be alone, use to the quietness, use to the quiet fone.
i feel very annoyed when ppl calling me, texting me.
no one really care me, if my family cares me, i cant feel it. sorry.
i caant feel a thing anymore.
i just want to be alone, i just want to do my thing, i just want to stop my studies. i cant take it anymore.
im goin to freak out soon. aarrgghhh!!!
i cant help myself, nor no one can help me, because i cant help myself.
pls, i cant handle anymore thing. when im down, i drink, since the day, i drunk myself. she doesnt know...
she doesnt know shes the big influence of my life, but thats too late, no longer can return, just so what she says...
anyway, life is materialistic, life is cruel. so i am.
i wont be as good as before no more. thanks for saying how shit i am, also thanks to my friend, i never shit on them, but they saying fucking shits stuff on me, thank you for helping me being jerk.
one day, one day i wana go away from this place. cut me loose. i dont want be human, im going to the darkside...
i never will return. thanks for the cruel world. im living with this kind of condition since feb 2011. hurt, sad, depress, stress, tensed. soon, will gone mad...
I, WONDER WHY!
WHY, when a person hurt you most, and u love them still, care them still....
thats a thing, i CANT FIGURE OUT!!
PLS, give me some drug, either to kill me, or forget everything...erase everything, even more, FORGET MYSELF