Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I need someone...

But who... ?

Seems to be none...
That can be my soul, mate. To be direct, the person of my life.
I have no more...kthxbye

Saturday, June 9, 2012


im pressuring my body since the day...
i think had been 2 yrs+

sleepless nights, late night bed, sleep until day light, never been gym nor exercising.
driving driving driving, hours of driving....

indeed, since the day, i even more doesnt take care of my own body, doesnt love my life and my life.

nowadays been sufferin body aching, especially neck and shoulder part. now my back.
felt every part of my bones stiffed up, arent feel young anymore...

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


现在,什么感觉来的? 我只懂,想一个人,静静地,哭。



我只知道,我心里还有 她。


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

ya, i suck

is been, erm... a year plus???
i think so...
cant even remember...

but i still remember her, somewhat fresh in my mind... is it?
or blurry of her?

still do miss her?


i am suck.


after re-read some of the sms-es in my phone. yes, do still stored in my phone.

i am really bad, suck, lousy crap shit person back then.

now? worst...

she's very good girl, very very good person.

even one of my bullshit dick friend said she's indeed very match to me. perfect match.

just like last time all her friends says that.

sigh, what had gone is gone.
do i want her back????????

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


just feelin want to stop my study...
semester by semester, getting worst and worsen...
no idea what da fuq im doin shit.

no longer have the heart, no longer have the concentration, no longer have the soul.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

in the quiet night

in the quiet, cold night.

im all by myself in this late night. Everyone asleep, just left me alone.

this had already been one of my lifestyle.

u would say a improper life. well, stupid but yes.....

when the late, quiet cold night. and alone.

heart will have a sudden aching. the memory disc will hit the replay automatically.
all the images in the past 1 year of 2 years memories will flashback.

but, all i just focus on is your face. just your face. i never forget about ur face.
any of your face. happy with smile, the greatest smile. sad, angry and everything.
i just love that face of you...

Sunday, April 1, 2012


now is worst...

changed bad to worst...
cant even tell what or how it is...

as long i know is, i live the way how it is for a time already and use to it too

Friday, March 9, 2012




Thursday, February 16, 2012


there's once i've loved the most.
just that once and serious once.

wonder do i have another time and another serious time?
i just know i lost everything, and i dont have confident.
i mention i lost everything doesnt mean i've committed something "illegal" or wrong in the term, cheat.

well, i know i loved very much, die die i dont let go my hands. even today.
"... said it, it is already passed." (not by me)
past for present, i dont care, as long i trust my heart.
shits happen, i dont care, as long i love ...

well, i just want to express myself, as currently just finish going thru the notes for 2molo last paper. i have no shit clues about it. i only know im goin to fucked and handing in empty. means, PHAILL!!
i dono who i am, what am i, hell am i.


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

a beer pls?

took this before the BOM exam paper. was too nervous, gan jiong edi.
just like now, freaking nervous. thinkin of drink a can of beer but then my house didnt have beer, so take Tequila shot.
later 8.15pm have Marketing Planning & Organising paper. now memorizing some of the point.
2 day studying, not any shit goin in my brain. although study with tips.
i hate memorizing, i cant memorizing shit. lousy short term memory, plus im getting no interest in studying.

feel like givin up, but cant.

arggghh, heart jumpin fast, mood arent right. feel like drinnking beer to cool me off. phaarrkkkk!!

Friday, February 10, 2012





Wednesday, February 8, 2012

hate my life

dono why i just hate my life so much...

need greens so much, to get the thing i want.

hmmm, seriously, time fly fast, i spend most of my time at home. i can feel im getting lazy lazier by time. lazy to do things, lazy to go out. sleep sleep sleep.
just like that. i spend most of my time at home. alone.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

never been good.


didnt been that good. never been feel great.


just feel that...low...
lowest point of all....

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

when honda meets toyota

just a photoshoot before the cny.

and ohh! happy cny, gong hei fatt choi.
i dont need to story any about of my cny, n.o.t.h.i.n.g about it.
dont need mention about valentine too. ;)

anyway, just a photo shoot before cny, and i just done wrapping the mugen front lip to dry carbon look with a Type One sticker at the middle. right after 4 days, my mom drove the car and scratch the lip, ONCE again...
well, female cant drive. this is fact, although is not majority of them cant drive. fact is fact. ;)
true story.

i was mad, seriously mad about it.
the front lip repainted just right before the 30th night. till now, the front look doesnt look as the picture itself. ;)

the corolla ee90 aka ae92, is my friend's one. he's also a car enthusiast like me. we just student, we enjoy cars and etc. quite budget still.
wait till we grad and get a job. things will be better, maybe i will change my ride. OR something with K related??

Friday, January 27, 2012


twice of heartbreak.
put me into hell.

dont say twice, once, already feel like dead. twice, worst than dead.
i cant even describe it.

some ppl say, donnt care those not appreciate you, show them how well u live without them.
not i degil or what, once i gone into relationship, im serious to it and goin all for it. givin my everything.

twice of heartbreak, now i feel like a person without heart. no heartbeat. cant feel myself.
less social, less goin out. mostly at home. at home. and at home.
dont have the mood for anything.

i wonder, when i can feel my heartbeat once again.
when i can have someone again? and love until i cant let go anything again?
no idea. i dono.
thats my answer for every question. dono. no idea.

want to feel alive again. who can?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012





thru the days, weeks, months. im going it all by myself like a dead person.
everyday till now, i miss u like no words can describe my feeling. it is just everywhere.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

im fine.................(actually, no)

i've tried hard, i've try and try and try.
so i failed. i cant get back.

i am not fine, since the day. until a newer year. i...am...not...okay...
im acting fine, im acting happy, im acting im great, but all is just an act.

i just want to voice out from my mind, my ice cold dead heart.
since the day, i never been happy at all. im just a mothafucker down in mood, stressed up person.
so, dont near me, better to leave me alone, i will hurt ppl.
i use to be alone, use to the quietness, use to the quiet fone.

i feel very annoyed when ppl calling me, texting me.
no one really care me, if my family cares me, i cant feel it. sorry.
i caant feel a thing anymore.

i just want to be alone, i just want to do my thing, i just want to stop my studies. i cant take it anymore.
im goin to freak out soon. aarrgghhh!!!
i cant help myself, nor no one can help me, because i cant help myself.
pls, i cant handle anymore thing. when im down, i drink, since the day, i drunk myself. she doesnt know...
she doesnt know shes the big influence of my life, but thats too late, no longer can return, just so what she says...

anyway, life is materialistic, life is cruel. so i am.
i wont be as good as before no more. thanks for saying how shit i am, also thanks to my friend, i never shit on them, but they saying fucking shits stuff on me, thank you for helping me being jerk.

one day, one day i wana go away from this place. cut me loose. i dont want be human, im going to the darkside...

i never will return. thanks for the cruel world. im living with this kind of condition since feb 2011. hurt, sad, depress, stress, tensed. soon, will gone mad...

WHY, when a person hurt you most, and u love them still, care them still....
thats a thing, i CANT FIGURE OUT!!
PLS, give me some drug, either to kill me, or forget everything...erase everything, even more, FORGET MYSELF


Monday, January 9, 2012







im thinkin...... are u fine?

Monday, January 2, 2012


missin someone, but who???
i myself also dont know who do i miss, just a feelin of a sudden.