Thursday, December 1, 2011


just like mom says, human between that have blood connection, how they quarrel, how they fight, how the fuck they scold each other and leave, they still have the blood connection. one day, they will come together.

parent and kids, brothers and sisters. BUT, not husband and wife. Not among friends.

how i treat my friends, i look up upon high to them. same to my girlfriend. (not i dont have gf)
one of my friend this year went to US to proceed his study at Fresno. yea, he's a very good friend of mine, we talk alot, in everything, by how we think how we feel. that is Bros thing.
dont mistake, thats not gay for freak ppl like u ass mind think. ;) cheerio

we spend our time along, since primary 5-6 and following by secondary f1-5 until we went college/uni. we went diff uni, but when he return back to hometown, we do lepak, hang out. or i went to kl for holiday and stay at his place. we have fun, we share every good and bad stuff. everything. we chat about girls, how pretty how hot how awesome how ugly is the chicks. we chat how we feel about the girl, that i actually like/love and the girl he like.
the girl he like, too bad he cant make his move, because he gonna go to US and few others reason. *ehem* bro, you chicken out la...hehehe

anyway, back to he's goin to US, no one company me drive up to KLIA. another friend just following me behind my car, coz he gonna go back to KL for his study. Apparently, i drive go and back my own.
early in the morning, hours before the sun comes up, i've already wake up, i forgot 4 or 5am, start my drive to KLIA, from my house to alor gajah AMJ highway to north south highway to exist 215 and lastlyl to KLIA.
dark, alone and rainy drive. all along my drive, i misses her too. i wish shes with me together company me the drive and send my friend for farewell.
my parent dont agree, not allowing me to drive, but i INSIST to. i reached KLIA, have breakfast with him and his family, then have photograph, but no tears that for sure, watch him go thru the gate and elevator.
well, i miss my friend alot, we spend time alot.
he do say 1 thing, "i go US, cant company u at malacca already, u gonna be alone, your that 'fucking' brader yea u wont find him also la."

im a scorpio, scorpio looks high upon ppl surrounding them. thats me, i look high on them, i put high hope, i do everything for them.
in the end, what do i get? oh, im not saying him... im not saying in return or payback something.

a simple word, APPRECIATE. where is it??
what i do, what i gave up just for that, what i sacrifise. in the end, i lose and they win. thaats Lose Win situation...

another, i want to put another thing, just forgot and doesnt know how to put it properly. sigh, nvm, forget bout it. that one also one of my cb friend since primary 5, together with that friend went to US,  and oh, also same with that "fucking brader" i mention too. that cb and fucking, both damn cb wan la.... damn good in using ppl.
both damn good pair together, but both of them very tak ngam after f5... lol

we know, we know...
simple, just dont care lah.

and if want say about gf, same thing, no blood related. want come then come, want go then go.
but me, if i really really love and already put myheart in, i decide for the relationship, i never have doubt i should go on or not. since i've decide with you and relationship with you, i have no regret.
thats two times, the 1st very cb wan. the 2nd, im not blaming you, just, yea im not good, but try to think, what i;ve done to you taking care of you. when u need help.
dont say about my behavior my character.
well, this thing too much to say, i also will make it even wrong later on....

i've already very very very loved before. thats her, mh. now i cant feel my heart and feel myself anymore. best describe is, a dead heart and a lived dead human. if can understand.
for some ppl or some friend, they asked, hey, why u less go out already, wheres your girlfriend? or hey, why u came alone, wheres your girlfriend? my simple answer is, oh, shes busy. / oh, this time we quite busy of our studies, less have time go out have fun.... etc
biggest lie and lame reasons.

i've look at so much of girl, 1 thing is, i didnt feel初恋的感觉!or 想爱的感觉。
all is, nothing empty inside. only night time is, i feel sore and soury in my heart when i misses her.

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